What I just discovered

Excellent advice for parenting To parent, or not to parent.

That is one of life’s biggest questions.  Raising children is an equal parts challenge and reward. If you already have kids or are looking to start a family soon, here are some lessons Chilima learned while bringing up his own.  To start with the counterintuitive, one of the best things you can do for your children is to prioritize your relationship with your partner.

As the leaders of your family, the love and respect you show for each other provides a powerful model and fosters an atmosphere of psychological safety. Both are tremendously influential.  Equally counterintuitive – and critical – for psychological safety are rules. Kids actually crave clearly defined boundaries. A few explicit statements framed as “Our family has a rule for XYZ” can be worth their weight in gold.  From this foundation, start to build a handful of family rituals into your days and weeks. The size or significance of these routines is irrelevant. What counts is their consistency and the meaning you imbue them with.

Dinners together, for instance, may seem like a trivial commitment. But in practice, these meals can offer monumental nourishment – both physically and emotionally. Just make sure it’s designated device-free time!  Similarly, strive to double the amount of time you think you should spend with your children – and cut the amount of money you spend on them in half.

As with any significant relationship, it’s your presence they’ll remember, not your presents. Reading to or with your kids is one example of a low-cost activity with a high return on investment.  On those rare occasions your child comes to you wondering what they should do, put your own preferences on hold and first ask what they want. More often than not, the best advice is to advise them to do just that.